


That's Crazy, Right?

by diamondRings_andThingslikethat



Series: The Affair [1]
Category: Dare Me (TV 2019), Dare Me - Megan Abbott
Genre: Abusive Relationships, Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Confusion, Dubious Consent, F/F, Internal Conflict, Jealousy, Mildly Dubious Consent, Older Woman/Younger Woman, Pining, Possessive Behavior, Predator/Prey, Statutory Rape, Teacher-Student Relationship, Unhealthy Relationships
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-02-25
Updated: 2020-03-17
Packaged: 2021-02-28 02:15:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Rape/Non-Con, Underage
Chapters: 5
Words: 12,406
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22896271
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/diamondRings_andThingslikethat/pseuds/diamondRings_andThingslikethat
Summary: Addy is confused about her connection with Coach French. Coach French sees vulnerability. Colette French likes to play with her prey.
Relationships: Beth Cassidy/Addy Hanlon, Colette French/Addy Hanlon
Series: The Affair [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1665097
Comments: 27
Kudos: 186





	1. Chapter 1

Addy feels like she's losing her mind. 

She's used to having uncomfortable feelings surround another human being. 

(Squandered. 

Silenced. 

Crushed and consumed.

Squandered, with every authoritative figure she's ever come across. Who didn't think she was enough. Talented enough be a major component on the squad. Smart enough to receive anything other than basic test scores. Maybe that was true. Or, maybe no one had ever taken the time or effort to give her the push she needed. 

Silenced, whenever she would try to talk to her mother about, literally anything. Because she never understood what she was trying to say. And, most times, it didn't even seem as if she were truly listening. Just enough to be able to stop Addy somewhere in the middle to tell her she was wrong. 

Crushed and consumed by Beth completely. Silenced, too, when she really thought about it. Crushed, whenever she and Beth would have her spats. For whatever reason, big or small. (Jealousy usually being the underlying issue.) And, Beth would turn the team against her. When she would have her claw her way back into Beth's good graces. Pine after her like a puppy and plead for forgiveness. (It was exhausting.) Consumed, at literally given time. Whatever Beth did, Addy followed. And, it didn't necessarily feel optional. Silenced, when she disagreed with Beth on anything. The way she reacted, the way she would vehemently shut her down. Addy's voice didn't matter much to Beth, she knew that.) 

Somehow — and it made her sound weird — somehow, she thinks she prefers the insanity above all else. Because it's fleeting. 

Insanity for Addy lasts as long as she's away from Coach Colette. Which isn't as often as any of the other girls can say. Since she's shown up, if Addy has free time, it's usually spent with Coach or her baby girl. She tells her mom she's with Beth because she doesn't think she would understand or even try to. 

Addy thinks that what she and Coach has is something special, something sacred. They haven't done anything, not anything inappropriate, if you ask Addy. Still, everything with them feels like a secret. And, not just because Addy is helping her cover for her thing with Will but everything in between.

Addy thinks she loves Coach. She burns hot as the sun when she's with Coach, feels brighter, more confident, more capable than she's ever felt before because of Coach. She looks forward to seeing her. To being with her. Coach can put a smile on her face like no other, can put a blush in her cheeks strong enough to almost hurt. It feels like love. She couldn't say she had any good forms of references, but she thinks this is love. 

Sometimes, she thinks that maybe Coach feels the same. 

That's where the insanity comes in. She couldn't possibly. She loves Will, and even without him in the picture, she had a family. She couldn't possibly love Addy, too. Addy knows what it would look like, from the outside looking in. She knows what her mom would say, what the town would say. That Coach was "preying on teenage girls", but it wasn't like that. They understand each other. Which was why Addy knew she couldn't possibly feel the same; yeah, Addy liked her but they were just friends; Coach wouldn't ruin her reputation like that. 

Would she? 

It was hard for her not to have faith even though she knew, logically, that there was no future for them. 

Sometimes, Coach gets too close. She invades Addy's personal space, and allows her eyes to fall to Addy's lips. She just stares, sometimes like she's lost, sometimes it's like she's contemplating the consequences of if. Addy just waits because in moments like those, she's sure Colette will do something. But, she usually just touches her hair or her cheek. Sometimes she does neither and bites her own lip before she looks away.

Sometimes, Coach touches her too tenderly for too long and it makes her skin sting for hours. The small of her back, her knee, a thump over her bottom lip, her cheek. Addy feels it long after the touch is gone. The first time she felt Coach's cool hand on her thigh, after it was gone, she felt it for days. 

It's impossible not to dwell on it, long after it has passed. The moment swirls around her head as the feelings invoked my it keeps her warm when they're apart at night. At night, she dreams. She dreams of what would happen if neither she nor Coach were so afraid. 

Because maybe she's not crazy. Maybe the only thing that is crazy us her trying to convince herself that Colette doesn't want this, want her just as bad as Addy does.


	2. Chapter 2

Addy is the representation of all possiblities of what Colette should have been, but better. Only thing that was more special about Addy to Colette than her potential was her vulnerability and willingness to please. Colette saw the potential, but it was that, that thing that reeled her into Addy's orbit. 

Colette doesn't have much faith in the girls on her team. Not as individuals. They didn't have the same desire, and certainly not a quarter of the potential. But, Addy... She can mold Addy into a masterpiece; she's sure of it. Addy is so willing to please, willing to do whatever it takes to get Colette to look at her for more than five seconds; it will be so easy. The other girls didn't have that, either. 

Addy would do anything for her; would swim from here to Asia in lemon juice and razor blades for her. Colette isn't going to pretend she doesn't know that. Nor is she going to pretend it doesn't make her feel both like she's flying and like she's a masterful puppeteer. It's hard to tell — sometimes — which feeling is stronger. 

They're close, too. Which Colette had sort of counted on from the beginning; she sunk her teeth into Hanlon from the start. She wanted them to be close, though not quite to this extent. Now, things between them are so much more than Colette ever imagined they were going to be. It was beneficial, to both of them, maybe, but it certainly made her life easier. 

She's had her "Addys" before, but never to the extent that she has Addy. Sometimes, she wants to shake her, but she's come to realize (and mostly accept) that it just isn't possible. Addy doesn't go away, and in some strange way that Colette knows is twisted, Colette likes that she won't. She's vice grip she's pulled on Addy. Which leads directly into the one thing about Hanlon that Colette despises. And, since she's locked in on Addy, she's been trying to rid them both — mainly herself — of this thing. 

Addy comes with Beth and Beth baggage. Types like Addy and those like Beth always come in pairs. Beths can't survive without Addys, not nice versa. Beths leech, and drain everything good from Whatever they're latched onto. Addy didn't become this — dare she say — easy when she came into the picture. Colette doesn't have that magic touch. If she let herself think that, she'd be both as naive as Hanlon and as arrogant as Beth. Whether Beth was the reason she was like this or had just been circling her like a shark in water for a longer time, Colette wasn't sure. 

Whichever it was, it didn't matter. What did matter was that, as far as she could see, Beth was the only thing with potential to break what she and Addy had. So, she had to break Beth. And, that's what she set out to do. If she could turn Beth inside out, make her deepest ugly show; show her for the gross, parasitic leech she is, Addy'll run straight into her arms, and Colette can drown her in her oblivion. Make Addy hers, work from there because while Beth has been sucking on Addy for a while, Addy isn't too far gone; Addy still shines like the sun. Colette can't think of anything she wants more than her, than that shine. 

Colette has never hated a Beth so much as she hates Beth Cassidy. But, then again, Colette's never sunken in on an Addy as deep as she's sunken into Addy Hanlon.

Addy was hers. She told herself that in her head whenever she saw her. 

Manifesting is step one to getting what you want. 

She's sees the fruits of her labor day in and day out. Every time her eyes linger on Addy's perfect body long enough to make her blush, from the corner of her eye, she can see a small part of Beth slither away, something deep within. Every time Beth is rejected so that Addy can be with her instead, she imagines Beth curling into a ball and falling away deeper in the dark pit of self-loatheing. Colette gets pleasure out of that, that on some level she knows is perverse. But, it's less about Beth so much as it is driving that wedge. They're torn further and further apart each day. 

(Not far enough. Beth is still Addy's screensaver.)

(Colette wants to break that phone. But, that wouldn't change that screensaver.)

More than Addy is potential, Addy is temptation, which sets her apart from the others before her. More than Will yet easier to resist. She's got more to lose, if she lets herself fall into Addy the way she wants to. People finding out about Will is just a bunch of town gossip, maybe a divorce. But, she thinks, if she tries harder enough she could keep Matt should he ever find out. But, Addy... Addy is loss custody of her babygirl, loss of her job. Addy's mother is a cop. Addy is literal jailbait. And, she can't trust Addy just yet. If she can't trust Addy, she can't have Addy. And, God, does she want. If she does this, she has to time it perfect; she has to wait.

She's sure Addy knows it, too. Addy is naive; she's not an imbecile. 

She has a hard time reigning herself in, sometimes. And, not just when they're alone, which is what makes this wanting so dangerous. She didn't truly see Addy for all that she was, all she triggered until she allowed herself to staddle Addy's hips. Those eyes, innocent, willing and open yet so sexy, Colette could've kissed her right there. That's with Will there; take him out of the equation, she could've done so much more than that, and no one would have known. Thank God for interruptions, for Will. 

She struggles, sometimes, keeping her hands to herself. Addy is always so, perfect. So smooth, so warm, so inviting. Colette can see the way Addy's world stops when her fingers dance over her body, no matter where they happen to land. She wonders, if — she can't — if she makes a move, would Addy reject her. 

Addy wouldn't possibly reject her. She can't, doesn't have it in her, does she?


	3. Chapter 3

Addy hadn't really needed the practice. She needed a busy afternoon, and she needed a good excuse to occupy her time. More over, she wanted to be alone with Coach French.

She liked Coach's house. She liked how much more relaxed she was at home as opposed to when she was in full Coach mode. She liked what she knew Coach didn't; she appreciated the quiet, the mundane; the lack of wildness and chaotic energy she got with the squad, with Beth. A part of her was always disturbed when Coach invited everyone over, rather than just the two of them. She liked just the two of them. She liked when she was close to her; when she touched her, even if she never did more. Addy liked the attention, Coach's attention.

No one was home when they got to Coach's; apparently Matt had taken their daughter to his mother's house for a break. Straight into the backyard, they went right to work. Colette watches as Addy goes through her routine. Sees how she hits every step; she didn't need this. But, she wasn't flawless. And, she asked for it. So, she critiqued where she saw fit. Addy, ever the perfect pupil, adjusted to every single thing Colette corrected. It probably wouldn't be believed if she said it out loud — not by anyone but Addy — but she respected Hanlon. Addy had this drive that made her see the future and the past at the same time. Addy's future, bright and filled with options. And, how she could have had that, but she was too much of a coward at Addy's age to display that kind of a drive. Colette followed the trail that was preblazed for her. She didn't have it in her to go after what she wanted.

Addy goes for a back tuck, which are kind of a hit and miss for her, and screws the ending. She slips, Colette surges forward to catch her before she can fall. Addy's panting and looking up at her with those eyes, lips parted. Colette helps her steady, stand up straight but her hands are still on Addy's bare waist. And, that familiar feeling chipping away at her willpower has returned. She can't stop staring at Addy's lips. One of her hands moves from her waist to her cheek. As she's biting her own lip, she runs her thumb over Addy's bottom lip. So plump, just as soft as it looks. So damned pretty. From one side to the other, back to her cheek Colette's finger goes.

Addy's reduced to heavy breathing, increasing wetness and heat. Electricity that's been running too long is how she feels; the fire hasn't started but once it sets, Addy doesn't think she'll be able to put it out. Not easily. If Coach doesn't kiss her now, she might actually go insane.

She licks her lips because they burn, and she needs to cool it off. It doesn't help but it doesn't hurt; it tingles.

And, Colette's still just staring at them. Wondering, thinking about what kind of sounds can she draw out of that pretty little mouth of hers. She wonders what else that mouth might be good for.

Addy's definitely not like the others.

Colette wanted them to be great; she wanted to show them their strength, no matter how much it hurt. Not that she doesn't want that for Addy, too. She does. More than anything. Addy shines where they glimmered. She's got it, with or without Colette; that's what makes her so special.

But, in contrast to the others, she wants to fuck Addy until her voice collapses, until she's got tears in her eyes, until she can't walk much less dance or cheer. Colette wants to fuck Addy until the world finally ends. She wants the world to know just how deeply she's been fucked for weeks to come after she's done with her.

But, she can't touch Addy. Not like she wants. At least, not now.

"You're so special, Addy," Coach tells her, running a finger along her jawline. Quietly. Addy felt her breath more prominently than she heard her words.

Addy also can't think of anything to say. She doesn't think anything on her body is working properly. Except whatever is responsible for arousal because she's sure she's going to have to throw these panties away, and she definitely needs a shower.

Coach draws her waist closer to her own body, and Addy can feel the heat radiating off of her. Her fingers are lightly scratching Addy's back. Addy whimpers, tries not to squirm. Colette smirks, feels her heart beat out if her chest; Addy makes her feel alive, more alive than she's felt for a long time, maybe ever.

Addy feels herself being swallowed. Consumed like how things are when she's with Beth except this doesn't feel like she's dying. Either way, Addy doesn't like being swallowed. When she takes a step backwards, it confuses them both.

Colette feels rejected and she can't be Addy just did that; can't believe Addy could do that. It's problematic, but problems can be fixed. And, there's space between them, but Colette hasn't moved her hands; she isn't going to.

"It's getting late," Colette's face scrunches up. The sun is still out. Addy just wants to leave her, but she doesn't want that. "I'm sweaty," Addy knows Coach probably doesn't care. Neither does she. She just needs space. She stutters because Coach's look is so intense, so invasive; Addy isn't convincing her of anything, "I need a shower. My mom's probably wondering where I am."

Colette tightens her grip on Addy's waist, disabling her from moving back further. They're having a moment, and Addy's dead set on ruining it. But, Colette's not ready for it to be over, so she's not letting Addy go; she refuses.

"You have clothes in your cheer bag, right?" They both know the answer to that. Colette doesn't give her the chance to lie. She can't stress enough how much she doesn't want Addy to leave yet. She wants to hold on this feeling for as long as she can; Will can't give it to. Just Addy. "Tell your mom you're with one of the girls. Stay here."

She makes it sound like an option. It isn't. Addy has a hard time breathing. She just nods. Colette's smile is predatory and victorious; she doesn't smile with her whole face. There's no joy. She's smiled like she's won a poker game with a fixed deck.

Addy has the most angelic voice; she sings in the shower, Colette learns. Yet again, bit of perfection. Something else to be in awe of. She hates it as much as she wants to find out if she belts like that in bed. Addy pivots, giving Colette a near perfect view of her breasts, only thing that would be better would be front, but she can settle for side. Still, Addy's bound to turn more, and of she opens her eyes, she's bound to be alarmed then she'll really leave, and they'll be no talking her out of it this time; Colette leaves before she can be spotted, grabs Addy's cheerbag on the way out.

Addy finishes up her shower and steps out maybe ten minutes later. She wraps a towel around her body before turning to where she could have sworn she sat her duffle. Forehead creasing, she tries to think back on her actions. Maybe she had left it in Coach's room. Maybe she hadn't actually taken it into the bathroom like she had actually planned. She secured her towel so that she wouldn't have to hold it as she walked. Opening the door connecting the bedroom to Coach's bathroom, her duffle was the first thing she saw, sitting on Coach's bed. She tip toed over, hoped Coach wouldn't be upset at her hair dripping over on her carpet.

From just near the doorway, out of view, Colette admired Addy's figure. She fidgeted where she stood, her panties sticking to her uncomfortable as she watched water drip down her shoulders and legs. The more she leered the harder it was for her to see why fucking her student would be such a bad idea. Especially since she hadn't cared too much about those reasons to begin with. She was more concerned about Addy running her mouth about it than anything, but surely she could keep that from happening. If she worked it just right, Addy would do anything she said. She was pretty damned close to that already as is.

Why wait? How many more times was she going to have her naked in her bedroom, with no husband, no baby home? The presentation of this opportunity was too good to miss, and she was dripping as she visualized the way Addy would wither and moan under her touch. She was having a hard time remembering when she wanted something, someone this badly.

She stepped inside her bedroom, closed the door behind her; Addy jumped, felt her heartbeat accelerate.

Colette's head tilted, slight frown graced her features, "Are you okay, Addy?"

Addy blinked, allowed herself to smile but heart still pulsed at a semi-concerning rate. She nodded.

"Are you sure?"

Addy smiled, with teeth. "I'm okay, Coach."

Something about Addy's refusal to call her by her name, even when they were alone, when they were getting deep and personal, gave Colette a subtle sensation of this powerful thing in her life. She wondered if she'd still be calling her that in about fifteen minutes. Maybe less. She sure hoped so.

"Good." She nodded, approaching and admiring Addy's hair. Curly and wild. She was used to seeing it straight. So much so, she hadn't really considered how much different Addy's hair would be from her own. It'd gotten prettier after being drenched in water whereas her own hair was stringy whenever she stepped out of the shower or went swimming or got rained on.

Addy was still looking at her. She felt vulnerable and frozen in this moment. She was torn. She was fairly certain now of what Coach wanted, kind of. She was sure she was interested. After that thing in the yard, she could say with all the certainty in the world that her imagination wasn't overactive.

On one hand, she's happy about it; it means she has a chance if she wants it. And, she does. Sort of. She's not sure how far she wants to go. Watching her get fucked and dreaming about being in Will's shoes is vastly different from actually being in his shoes. This was her cheer coach, after all. They could be friends, but that would be too far, right?

And, she's nervous about the possibility, morality aside.

Addy is the least sexually experienced girl on varsity. She's only kissed like three people; Beth and two guys, including Jordy Jones, who she also let eat her out. Which, by the way, she only did under the thought of Coach's (vague) suggestion; she hadn't given him too much thought before then, ever. And, she didn't even cum then. Not that he wasn't good at it; Beth went a little off the deep end before she could that far. The way she tended to whenever Addy got close to or intimate with anyone other than her, platonically or not. Which Addy always found to be ironic because no one teased her more than Beth about her inexperience. She was to blame for it with all of her cockblocking as much as Addy's selectiveness; Addy would say it was a 60/40 split with Beth taking the larger half.

She can feel Coach ogling her. She can't believe she ever thought she was imagining this before. With just that look in her eyes, Addy felt like she was being fucked already, and she didn't know how to feel. She felt herself becoming aroused, again while also battling the feeling that she should have put her foot down about the whole going home thing. But, she didn't and what now?

Somewhere along her thoughts, Coach entered her bubble. Addy can feel Coach's breast ghosting against her back. And, again, what now?

Colette can see — even from where she's standing — Addy's chest rising and falling, like an asthmatic patient, without the wheezing. Colette smirks; she hasn't even touched her yet.

"You are such a beautiful girl." She trails her index finger down her arm, watches goosebumps for in its wake. "You know that, right?"

Addy feels her body heat up, particularly her cheeks. And, despite the fact that she doesn't know how to feel, she smiles.

"And, that body," Addy looks back, sees her biting that lip again, and feels weak in the knees. "I've finally got the perfect use for that body."

It gives her chills. Addy can't lie, if Coach kissed her, she wouldn't fight it. But, she's naked. Coach couldn't possibly just want that one thing, but Addy doesn't know if she's willing to give more. She can literally feel her nerves jumping under her skin; she worries about if that's a normal feeling or not because she's never felt it before.

Coach is breathing on the back of her neck, and Addy can't think. She feels much closer than she once was. If her thighs are any indication, and they so are, Addy just took a shower for no reason.

Colette is watching her. Mostly just waiting for any indication that Addy will reject her. But, she hasn't made any move to create distance. And, it took neither a rocket scientist nor a love guru to see that Addy was already into her. It was impossible to miss, so Colette didn't really count on that. She reaches for Addy's thigh, feels Addy jump in response. She hadn't been expecting that response exactly but she's not surprised by it. Nor is she off put by it. If Addy doesn't give an undeniable rejection, Colette's going in for the kill, and she's not stopping in her jaw is locked and her fingers are cramped. Addy turns around to face her. The anticipation of not knowing her next move was killing her. Coach drags her finger up her thigh and Addy's chest begins to heave, and if she gets any higher than she is right now, she's sure Coach will feel how wet she is.

"Coach," she whimpers. Colette surges forward and crashes her lips against Addy's to quiet her and delighted that Addy kisses back. It's all the confirmation she needs.

She brings her hand up closer to her center. She moaned into Addy's mouth when she made contact. She barely touched her, and she was soaked. She could only imagine how much better she would feel when she was inside her. But, Addy stopped her attempt to move anymore and pulled away from her lips.

"Wait," Colette frowns, wants to move forward but Addy's got a vice grip on her wrist. "I've never," she stuttered, "I've never let anybody," Colette raises an eyebrow. She's got an idea of what Addy'll say next, and it just makes her want her more. "Do that to me before."

Coach smiles, different than the other ones she's seen today. This one puts her at ease, helps her breath easy. It makes Addy loosen her grip and Colette moves her hand to her inner thigh. It isn't where she wants to be, but she's settling. Addy's nervous, if she moves to quickly, this opportunity will wash away.

"We can move slow," she says, makes it sound like a promise. Though, it isn't one she's sure she can keep. She just needs to makes Addy comfortable. She kisses her forehead and Addy closes her eyes, her heart thudding in her chest. Coach really wanted her, just like in her dreams. Then, Coach rests her head against hers, "I promise, I'll make you feel good."

Colette doesn't want to hear a no or anything akin to it so she kisses her to avoid the possibility. Addy kisses her back and Colette smiles into the kiss; she pushes her back onto the bed, doesn't pull her lips away. Because Addy's lips feel like comfort, like something to find solace in. She settles between her legs, caressing her thighs and ass under the towel. Just biding her time, trying to get Addy to relax enough for this to be easy for her. From lips to jawline, Addy moans, low yet deep and throaty. It's one of the best sounds Colette thinks she's ever heard. From jawline to neck, Addy is much more responsive, rocking her hips into Colette's and moaning a tiny bit louder. Colette has to mentally remind herself over and over not to leave any (visible) marks; Addy is a cop's kid, after all. But, the temptation is there; she wants the world to know that Addy is spoken for, even if neither of them can say publicly who owns her. The towel is becoming a nuisance, and Colette can say with a fair amount of confidence that Addy is past the point of trying to leave her so she feels safe in opening her towel up to gain more access to her body.

When Addy feels her towel open up, she gasps; the reality and weight of the situation setting in on another level. Confirmation of what Coach wants from her. On one hand, she's rejoicing because her feelings aren't unrequited. Of everything she wants and can have, hell already has because Lord knows she could be riding Will right now if she wanted to be, and she's here with Addy. Worshipping her body like she's some sort of a God.

Addy feels special. Mostly.

On the other hand, she's unprepared and unsure, and could she even get up right now if she wanted to? She's dreamt of this, but she never imagined it would happen beyond her mind. Coach aside, this is a major moment for her; she's about to lose her virginity. She always kind of had this fantasy of losing it with soft music playing, rose petals on the bed surrounded by candlelight. The hopeless romantic in her, that was the expectation. But, realistically, if she couldn't have that, and she was constantly told she wouldn't. Because that shit didn't exist outside of cheesy novels, according to Beth. She thought that she would just settle and give her virginity to Beth. It made the most sense, and she couldn't deny that she always felt something for her on some level. But, never did she imagine she'd get fucked for the first time by a woman like ten years her senior while she herself is on the fence about what she actually wants, if she's actually ready. Addy doesn't know what she really wants; she just likes Coach so much. She's so wet that she's sending herself mixed signals, and she can't stop moaning, not matter how much she tries to stifle it.

Coach's tongue is magical; sets a fire starts from the inside out. She's been suckling at Addy's right breast for a nice little minute, and Beth is already in her brain. And, she won't go away. And, Addy is terrified, but she doesn't want to say anything. She's figured out early on one of the worst things she could do if she was with either Beth or Coach was bring up the other. So, she reaches for Coach instead, brings her up to kiss her, and hopes a hickey won't form. She doesn't bruise too easily and she doesn't think Coach had enough time. She should be okay. Coach's hand sets out on the same path it was on before Addy originally stopped her. She has half a mind to do it again, but she's trapped between Coach's body and Coach's bed; is she really in any position to stop her? She's so worked up, too. Even if she went home and got herself off, she doesn't think she'd be satisfied, and another shower certainly won't cut it.

Colette can feel the heat radiating from Addy's center; the tip of her fingers connect with her outer lips and she gets a reminder of just how wet she is. She breaks the kiss, holding Addy's bottom lip between her teeth as she rests her chin against Addy's. She stares at Colette as she runs her fingers through her wetness, coating her fingers in it, causing Addy to hiss and her hips to jerk; Colette rested on her forearm, pressing her body more firmly onto Addy's while still leaving enough room to maneuver in and out of her. She reveling at how it didn't take much to cover both her index and middle. If Addy's body was any indication, Colette had her completely at her mercy.

Chin against chin, she strokes her hair and watches the way Addy bites her lip, holding back a whine that she almost didn't hear. She's staring down at Addy and Addy's staring back at her, dark eyes and hooded lids. She kisses her once more as she strokes her clit with her thumb and lines two fingers with entrance. She readjusts, gives herself more room to hover again, and slowly pushes herself inside. She's got the tips of her fingers in when Addy clenches around, drawing the slender digits in to the knuckle.

It's hard to tell who broke the kiss. Addy's jaw dropped and she let out a cry that made Colette thankful they were all alone in this house at the same she buried her face in Addy's neck, muttering a quiet, airy, "Fuck, Addy."

She couldn't move, not through the firmness of Addy's grip. It forced her to give Addy time to adjust to the intrusion that she honestly hadn't been planning to give. In the meantime, she peppered her neck with soft, sweet kisses and gently circled her clit. Addy panted and whimpered in her ear as she relaxed. Colette smirked in the crook of her neck, drew her fingers back a near withdrawal and applied more pressure to the circle she was drawing around clit. Addy's back arched and she bit her lips, muffling the moaning trying to escape.

Colette picked her head, trained her eyes on Addy who looked like she was struggling to keep hers open before she slammed her fingers into Addy, forcing them shut and drawing that deep moan from her. It filled the room, and it was a prettier sound than Addy's beautiful singing voice. When she curled her fingers, Addy's back arched higher, she got louder and she gripped the sheets. Colette got into her own rhythm, fucked Addy how she liked to be fucked; hard like she was trying break something. She keeps her eyes on Addy as she wiggles and squirms underneath, making the dirtiest yet most captivating sounds she's ever heard.

Colette's no stranger to this, to fucking women. It's not something she does often. Addy is the first female she's fucked in years, since before she was married. But, there was that year, from like June to October — she couldn't say for sure, her 22nd year of life was very foggy — where that was all she fucked. She didn't look twice at a man; she had a different woman on her arm every week.

She never considered herself "bisexual" or whatever else. She didn't much care for labels. Plus, could you really call yourself bisexual if you snorted three lines as a predecessor to sex with a woman? She didn't think so. Felt like a cheat. Even though, every now and again, if she was having trouble getting off with a man, be it Matt or Will, she'd close her eyes and imagine she was fucking some broad; she'd orgasm within her minutes. If she kept her eyes closed, she could go for hours. Honestly, if she was being honest, she lasted three hours with Will the last time they had sex, eyes closed, thinking about Addy.

Back then, she had a type: pretty bitches that could snort more coke than Steve O. And, honestly, majority of them — maybe all, she couldn't say with certainty — were white. It was funny. If she caught Addy within the line of sight of cocaine, she'd probably kill her. And, Addy was perfect, physically. Her face, that body, sculpted by every God in Greece. She didn't have the body of a plank, and she was soft, delicate. Divine, if she say so herself. Not like the girls she used to paint her bed with. Rough around the edges, skeleton like. Addy took care of herself. And, she didn't need drugs before she fucked her.

Addy was more pure than the best cocaine to her. Fucking her gave her the best high. She'd looked forward to it, dreamt of it. But, she couldn't imagine it being this great. The best high she's every experienced lied within Addy's pussy. She'd scorch the earth before she gave it up. She wasn't even being stimulated, hadn't even taken her clothes off and she was moaning in Addy's ear like a little bitch. It was embarrassing; she latched herself onto Addy's neck to shut herself up. Matt were to walk in right now, and she'd give him a nice little show.

Her mattress was creaking and the headboard was knocking up against the wall. She pressed down hard on clit and curled up, stroking Addy's sweet spot. Addy nearly tore sheets off the bed. Her grind against Colette went from rhythmic to ragged. She choked on her moans, unable to complete any of her incoherent noises. Colette pulled back and watched, felt Addy clenching around her every now in again.

The first time Addy tried to cry out Coach's name, she couldn't understand herself in her head, much less out loud. Coach wasn't nearly as gentle as said she'd be. But, pleasure outweighed the pain. If she arched any higher off Coach's bed, she was sure her back break. She could feel her voice going hoarse.

"Coach," she choked out; she felt a tingling creeping through her body, starting at her toes. She felt like her heart and lungs were expanding.

Coach got close and begin stroking her hair again. It was the sweets thing she had done since this started.

"You're so perfect, baby," she cooed, curling her fingers. Coach pulled out, not completely just to the tips of her fingers and ghosted over her clit. Addy's hips twitched, but slowly she feel the air returning to her lungs. "Come on, Addy," she peppered kisses along her jawline. "Open your eyes, baby." Addy did as she told and locked eyes with Coach. Coach licked her lips and smirked. "Good girl, keep them open." Just as roughly as the first time, she started pounding her again. She rolled her eyes and they begin to flutter shut. She added more pressure and a blood curdling scream tore through her body. "Don't you dare take your eyes off me." Addy struggled but she listened. Colette smiled above, "Good girl."

The tingling throughout her body intensified. It was the single most overwhelming thing that Addy had ever experienced. The room was spinning and she struggled to stay grounded. She made an attempt to scoot away but Coach followed, took it as encouragement. Her legs begin to tremble.

"Coach," she whined, fluttered around Coach's finger. "Coach, I —" Her eyes rolled to back of her head and she saw stars.

Colette watched Addy cum with a smug expression on her face. She slowed her movements and eased up the pressure. "Such a good girl," she kissed her, "My good girl." Addy smiled. She withdrew her fingers, reluctantly and sat up. Addy caught her breath, watched as Coach brought her fingers up to her lips. She rolled her eyes at the taste. Addy made an attempt to sit up. Colette glared, "No, lay back down." Hand on her chest, she pushed her back down on the bed and disappeared between her legs. Colette gifted sloppy kisses to her inner thighs. She couldn't leave a hickey on her neck, but her thighs were fair game.

Addy threaded her hand in Coach's hair and pulled her back a little. Colette looked up, frowning. Addy sat up on her elbows.

"I can't have hickeys."

She raised an eyebrow, "Your mom perform cavity checks on you?"

Addy chewed her lip, "I don't want Beth to see."

Colette sat up on her knees. She glared at her and Addy wanted to shrink inside of herself. "You fucking her?"

"No, I just —"

"If you're not fucking her, why do you care?" Colette stood up, "Get yourself cleaned up so I can take you home," and with that, she walked out of the room.

The car ride home was a cold, quiet one. Addy felt bad; she ruined their moment. A few times, she tried to talk to her, but Coach treated her like she wasn't there. When they made it to her house, her mom's car wasn't in the driveway. Coach pulled into the drive. When she made a motion to get out, Coach put a hand on her thigh, stopping her.

"You're my girl, Addy." She'd heard those words a million time from Beth. But, it was different from Coach. Coach didn't sound insecure. And, it wasn't a question. "There's no one more special to me than you, you know that, right?" Addy blushed; she couldn't help herself. Coach smirked, "Go."

Addy got out of the car and went inside. She thought about Coach French for the rest of the day.


	4. Chapter 4

Addy comes back to Colette the very next day. Which surprises Colette, but only a little. 

She wasn't sure what exactly she expected would be the outcome over yesterday, but she was both prepared and unprepared for the outcome of either side of the spectrum. 

If Addy reclused within herself, far away from her, it would have been disheartening, but not a shock. Colette crossed a line, in a very selfishly fucked up way. Not to say that she regrets it, no, not in the slightest. She wouldn't change a thing. She had loads of fun; she just wishes she fucked her longer, but her jealousy got the best of her. That was her own fault. 

Addy coming back to her was a delight, not a total shock, but she — at the very least — wouldn't have expected it so soon. 

Even if she did bait her. And, she had.

Matt would be at work until eight; she told Addy she needed help with the baby. She didn't. It was a text just to see where her head was at, where her feelings were, if she was her girl or if yesterday had ruined all the work she put into her. She didn't answer the text, left her on read for a while; it sent Colette spiraling. She wasn't surprised, but that didn't mean she had to like it, but Addy showed up at her house almost two hours later. Looking almost like she'd just rolled out of bed, but not in the gross way Colette did first thing in the morning. Addy sported those way too short Nike shorts with a thin, unzipped jacket over a white tank top. It was cold outside, early this morning, when she showed up, and fuck, did it show. It was the first sign to ease her mind. She came over, came running, dressed like she was just begging to get fucked again, and it was so easy for Colette to see why she lost control in the first place. There was no way Addy hadn't done this to her on purpose.

The whole time she's there, Colette's just itching to touch her again, can't manage to not stare, but she's holding back, being smarter than she was yesterday, more considerate. She's got to make up for yesterday; that's what she keeps telling herself. But, Addy came in like walking temptation; she was naive at times, most of the time (which worked out well for Colette), but never stupid. She knew what she was doing when she came over, so clearly she isn't upset by yesterday's events, but Colette knows she was wrong (on a logical level because it felt so right. To her), and she doesn't want to be wrong like that again, can't risk the backfire and it's more enjoyable if she doesn't feel like she stole something. Addy came twice, doesn't mean she had as much fun as she did, and Colette wants her to love her, love and crave the way she fucks, not just let it happen. It's better for her, in the long run, if she knows Addy wants this just as much; that's what she keeps reminding herself, why she holds back. Hard as it is, and it is hard. Still, she won't let go again until she knows where they stand. Clear confirmation, this time, is the goal.

She'd never been one to be turned on or impressed by someone being good with kids. Matt sends her pictures of him and Madison all the time, and she knows their supposed to be cute and heartwarming. It does nothing for her; she never responds. She guesses it's another thing about Addy that makes her so different than everyone else in her life. She can watch her and Madison play together for hours, and it actually makes her smile. Addy smiles and plays with Madison like she's her whole world; Madison doesn't smile or giggle quite like how she does when Addy comes around. It's almost like she reserves something special for when Addy comes over. Colette knows she's thinking too deeply; babies aren't that nuanced, but that doesn't make the sight any less enjoyable. 

Addy doesn't even notice she's standing there until she's managed to get Madison down for her nap. 

They end up in the kitchen, and Colette's trying to look for something for lunch. But, Colette doesn't cook, and she doesn't have anything that can done up quick. Which Addy seems to have noticed because when she steps away from the refrigerator, Addy takes her place. 

"You've got a fridge full of groceries," she notes, looks over to see Colette, on her phone. "I can cook. You don't have to order anything." She doesn't want to be an inconvenience, doesn't want Coach to waste her money. 

Colette locks her phone back, sits it on the counter and leans against the island, "I didn't know you cooked." 

Addy shrugs, easy, "My mom's not that good at it, and she works late a lot." She's halfway bent over in her refrigerator when she mutters, "I'm not that great at it, either." 

Addy can feel Coach's eyes on her as she cooks. She's felt them on her all day, but she hasn't said much to her. If not for the hawkeyeing, Addy would assume Coach was upset with her. It makes her wonder why she's really here, because she knows she doesn't really need her for Madison; she felt it when Coach texted it that it was just an excuse. But, it meant Coach was thinking about her, and that made her heart sore. 

She wasn't exactly sure what would happen when she got here, but she'd be lying if she said she didn't expect Coach to pull something akin to what she did yesterday. It was part of the reason she had come over. She wasn't ready, not completely, for yesterday. She wasn't upset about it, but it hadn't happen on her terms. If today was going to be a repeat, she wanted to fully enjoy it. Not be trapped inside her own mind as her body spoke for her. But, Coach hadn't made any move, and Addy's scared to because maybe it was a one and done, maybe she doesn't know what Coach French wants as much as she thinks she does. So, she just pretends today is a normal day.

Colette fixes herself a glass a wine. She needs it; watching Addy cook for her, for them — in sleepwear, at that — feels domestic. Like they've been here a million times before; it's eerie and quiet. Feels like a relationship. Mornings like these with Matt are the kinds of mornings that drive her straight into the arms of another man. Be it Will or one of his predecessors. Being with Addy, like this, is weird. She likes it with Addy as much as she hates it with Matt. But, she supposes that makes sense in a way. 

Addy defies the gravity of her life in many ways, makes her see colors that maybe didn't exist before, makes the sun shine a little brighter than before; she makes her see beauty in spaces Colette never really looked twice and yet, on the same hand, this thing developing between them is the literal epitome of the wildness that she finds herself in constant search of, the desire for wildness that sent her crashing into (and through Will), even underneath the convenience of it all. She's got reasons to be with Addy that she didn't have with Will, a solid cover up for this thing they're developing; it should kill the thrill, but it doesn't. Just her being here, on a Saturday, dressed like that was enough to raise eyebrows, at the very least. If anybody found out about yesterday, she'd get the book thrown at her, her life would be over. Domestic as this picture was, it was still more thrilling than fucking Will in her office at school. 

Addy makes them quesadillas and a salad because it's simple and not time consuming at all; Colette gets them both a glass of wine then. 

They end up sitting across from each other at the table. Colette drinks more than she eats, though, Addy is a better cook than she gave herself credit for, and she's sure she'll appreciate these later. It just isn't really where her appetite is. Can't say it happens often, but she's kind of at a loss for words.

She feels like she should apologize but she's not completely sorry, and she's better at making people feel like she was never wrong to begin with; she's shit with apologies. 

"Look," she exhales, eyes trained on Addy, waiting for her to look up, "Addy," Addy does, finally, look up. "About yesterday..."

Addy looks down and cuts her off right here, "It's okay."

"Is it?" 

Addy looks back up at her, "Yeah," she whispers then clears her throat before pouring herself her second glass of wine in comparison to Colette's fourth. "It's okay. I," she hesitates, avoiding her eye, because she isn't upset and she doesn't really regret but she wasn't fully ready. She is, now, "I wanted it," she looks up at Colette, who is visibly bothered by how unconvincing she sounds but she's sincere, "I wanted you." Colette believes that, though. Addy ducks her head, again, starts picking at the salad she made, "I still want you." Colette reaches across the kitchen table and caresses Addy's hand. Every time Coach touches her like that, she feels like she's been thrown into the sun. She pulls back and stands, reaching for their plates. "I'm going to go put this up." 

When she goes, Colette gulps down the rest of her wine and follows. Her eyes glued to Addy's ass, the whole way there. Addy is good with this, with them. And, she's been dying inside for hours. Addy's reaching for tubberware when Colette creeps up behind her. Hands on her waist, Addy goes stiff and Colette pulls her body back until they're pressed into one another. Colette's hands are traveling up her short tank top. Addy shivers when her thumbs trace the underlining of her breasts. Colette licks the outline of her ear and Addy gasps; she can already feel her arousal growing. 

Coach grinds her hips forward, a bit forcefully and husks, "You want me now?" 

"Yes," she whimpers, managing to turn around so they'd be face to face. She kisses Coach before Coach can kiss her. She can taste the wine on her lips, on her tongue. She's drank a little herself, but she's certain it'll be Coach's tongue, and not the wine she drank that does her in. 

Coach is dominate, you don't need to get fucked by her or be in a situation like this with her to know that. You can see it when she walks into a room, doesn't matter who's in it with her. Addy has no issue submitting to her. She can't picture herself like that, being dominate over anyone, least of all Coach French. 

She can feel Coach everywhere on her, and they're only making out, but she can't stop moaning. 

At some point or another Coach has lifted her onto the counter, but she isn't sure when that happened. She's just hyper aware of Coach rubbing her over her shorts, and she feels her anxiety skyrocket because there's only a matter of time before she finds out she's not wearing any panties. 

Feeling a dampness forming in her shorts, Colette slips her fingers underneath. She cusses, Addy gasps when she finds nothing. Addy's sex is so covered in desire; it's amazing. She gets _so_ wet, so fast. And, Colette's sure that she's never been like this for anyone else, and that just makes it so much sweeter. She caresses her clit more this time before entry than yesterday, and unlike yesterday, she penetrates her much slowly. Addy says it was fine, but Colette still feels the need to make it up to her. 

Addy finds herself unable to multitask. Coach is putting her hips, her whole body behind her thrusts while suckling at her pulse. She's different this time around than yesterday. There's still that force with each thrust, that makes Addy certain that she'll be sore later, but she's not jackhammering into her. It feels worlds better than before. 

Colette feels like Addy might rip out some of her hair. If she does, it's fine. She'd wear extensions like a badge of honor. Addy's panting in her ear, but she wants to hear her scream, loves the way Addy screams. With a particularly strong thrust, Addy's boisterous moaning tears through her ears. She keeps it up, hungry for that sound to continue. Better than a symphony, she thinks.

Addy's grinding back, best as she can on that counter top. She adds more pressure to the circles she drawing around her clit as she curls to stroke her g-spot at the same time. She can feel Addy shudder as she yanks her hair, forcing her lips away from her neck. It hurts, but she likes the pain; even more, she likes the picture of ecstacy written all over her face, eyes barely open, heavily dilated; jaw damn near fallen to her lap. When Addy loosens her grip, she kisses her. Jaw slacked, she doesn't expect to be kissed back; she's just got a thing for that pretty little mouth of hers, but Addy tries; she's struggling. It's wet and messy, but that just makes it hotter. 

The first orgasm Addy had — yesterday — ripped through her body like a rocket. The one that followed was if that rocket exploded after the launch. Too intense to brace for and she saw neither of them coming.

But, this one is different.

If the first one was a rocket, this one was a tsunami.

She could feel it building, slow, steady and strong. She could probably time it, if could focus on anything other than the feeling. She feels it creeping through her body, up from her toes. It hasn't even hit yet, and she feels hot. Unbelievably, almost uncomfortably _hot_ , so hot her ears itch a little. Her stomach flexing off and on and she can feel her toes curling in her socks. She was struggling to breathe before but now she feels like she's being choked with a plastic bag. Now, rather than herself, she can hear Coach's grunting in her ear and occasional praises. She hates that she missed it before, if she's been doing that. Coach's now deeper than usual voice is the definition of sexy and she wishes she could have it on voice memo. It's almost as much of a turn on as the act itself. 

The tsunami hits; Addy swears she sees flashing lights and goes completely stiff. Her fingers dig into Coach's neck; she can feel her nails break skin. Coach hisses in response, keeps fingering her, ghosts over her clit, drawing the out her orgasm for as long as it can last. Till Addy eventually goes limp in her arms, releasing the painful hold she's got on Coach's neck. She leans back, wincing when her head knocks back into the cabinet. 

Colette pulls out of her then, lazy. She drags Addy's cum against her skin, wants her to have an idea of the mess she's made. Her whole palm is wet; she doesn't think she'll ever get over that. Just one of the ways men can't really compare. Addy's like one of those gusher candies. Even for all her experience, she hadn't been ready for that; a true prize it had been. Her fingers look like she's been in the bathtub too long, and they may as well have glitter on them the way their glistening. She locks eyes with Addy as she pulls her fingers to her lips, watches the way Addy bites her lip, watching her lick them clean. Then, when she's finished, Addy's reaching for her and she leans forward, lets her face be cradled as they kiss. Not breaking the kiss, she hoists Addy from the counter so she can carry her to bed. She's not done with her, not by a long shot. 

* * *

They finish with time to spare, Colette's hands are cramped and she feels like her jaw is locked. She ends up collapsed on top of her, cheek against her right breast. It doesn't take long for her to decide; there's nothing more soothing than Addy tiredly scratching her scalp. Legs tangled, on top of the covers, Colette feels like it's summertime. She keeps rubbing Addy's abs, in shape even when Addy isn't flexing yet still so soft. She looks up at Addy, whose eyes are closed; like she's sleeping. But she's still blinking through shut lids so she knows she's awake. She turns her head just enough to be able to take her nipple in her mouth. 

A smile breaks out across Addy's face, and she pulls her head, "Do you ever stop?"

Colette uses the last of her strength to hover above her. Addy's always prettiest at this angle. She's smiling herself, light hearted, genuine, not conniving. She licks her bottom lip, "Nope."

She leans down to kiss Addy, but she's interrupted by Madison's sudden sobbing coming through the baby monitor that Matt insisted they buy. (Even though, without it, Colette can still hear inside of her bedroom, especially when the door is open.) She rolls her eyes, sliding off Addy, rolling onto her back. 

She doesn't get the chance to get our of bed before Addy does. She watches the sweat beads rolling down her shoulders, down her back as she puts on her tank, still sitting on the edge of the bed. She can't resist leaning over and placing kiss to the small of her back. Everything on Addy is sweet to her, even her sweat. She moves back when Addy makes a move to get up. 

She watches her put on her shorts, watches her leave the room only to come back about seven to ten minutes later, Madison in hand, feeding her. Like she's hers, like she's theirs. She couldn't imagine Will doing that; she couldn't imagine letting him do that, more like. 

Will — the feelings that came with him — ripped through her like a bullet. Her interest in him went about as quickly as it came. And, there wasn't much to Will — for her — beyond that. But, Addy — the feelings that came with her — Addy feels lasting. Colette doesn't have much to say beyond that, just that she hasn't decided if she's okay with that or not. 


	5. Chapter 5

It hasn't clicked for Will that she's over him, yet. 

He's waiting in the parking lot, at her spot when she pulls up Monday morning. She doesn't have time to go back and forth with him. She doesn't consider him significant enough to engage with. Everything about Matt screams desperate, unhinged. His begging, his confession of emotions, all sound like the ramblings of a madman, and he just won't stop. He's making her regret sleeping with him, ever. 

It isn't until he accused of her of manipulating him just to shoot him down that she whirls on him. She knows, better than anyone, what she's capable of, but that's not how she remembers it. And, one thing she will not deal with is his bullshit revisionist history. You can't manipulate someone into wanting something they already want. She didn't have to do much of anything to get him, just look pretty and open her legs. He slipped between them all on his own. He made his choice, she didn't bend him into anything. 

He stops walking then, steps back twice before standing tall when she approached him. 

"Enough," she snarls, low and dangerous, and she can almost see where her tone stabbed him, "Enough with this you thought we were in love bullshit." She steps forward. Again, he steps back. He looks pitiful. Doesn't look like he's combed his hair in a while; it's greasy and all over the place. He's got a full baggage claim under his eyes, and he's more pale than usual. He reeks of cheap liquor. It's only 8 in the morning. Just pitiful. "You were a dick to ride, an itch to scratch." He'll cry; she can see it on his face. If he doesn't now, he'll cry in his pick up. And, it truly isn't her problem. "I never loved you. I needed a rush, and I got bored. End of story." He looks down, bottom lip quivering. She searches for his eyes until he looks back up at her, "Grow the hell up, and moved on. We're done here." 

Her day just started, and he might've just ruined it. She turns to go inside before he can cry because his face, he'll definitely cry before he gets to his truck. Colette doesn't have it in her to see something so pathetic. Colette just wants eyes on her girl. It's what — who — she woke up with on her brain, looking forward to seeing. Addy can fix what Will almost just ruined. Colette's confident in that. Until she turns the corner to the hall her locker is on and she's Beth Cassidy leaned up against the locker next to hers. It takes a lot, but she manages to not pour hot coffee all over her. 

* * *

"Had fun Saturday," Addy cringes at the sound of Beth taunting her. "Felt just like old times." 

Addy sighs, "I didn't ask you to cover for me." She says only because she knows Beth is keeping score, noting all her fuck ups, and waiting for a rainy day. But, she is grateful, regardless of if she shows it or not. As long as Beth's covering for her, her mother will never question her or anything she says she's doing.

"Didn't have to."

Addy grabs what she needs for her first class then closed the locker, unintentionally slamming it. 

She turns to face Beth, but sees Coach instead. Standing at the end of the hall, glaring at them. Glaring at Beth, more like. Addy releases a shaky breath, feels like she's been caught cheating, pants down and all. She isn't paying much attention to Beth anymore. She's contemplating leaving her here to go console Coach because she's the definition of pissed right now. But, that would be too telling. 

Beth probably already knows something is up; she's a bloodhound for gossip and secrets, especially if she feels like Addy's involved. Doesn't matter what it is, if Addy's name is attached Beth is always on top of it. Above all else, Beth finding out about all this, having confirmation of it, is what scares Addy the most. If Beth got a hold to proof of what they'd done, there's no telling what she'd do with it. 

She forces her eyes away from Coach, back on Beth, who she notices staring at her neck and winces. She's not an easy bruiser; when she does bruise, it doesn't fade easy, and Coach left a mark Saturday, just below her pulse point. It isn't the only one she left, but it's the only one visible when she's completely dressed. Beth's expression eyeing her hickey matches the expression of the person who put it there eyeing her. She looks past Beth again, but Coach is gone, now. Beth puts a hand on her chin, steers her head up and a bit to the side, to get a better look at it. 

"Who did that to you?" She's still looking at it, not looking at her. 

"Nobody." The lie rolls off Addy's tongue like it's easy. That made Beth look at her and she just knows that Beth knows she's lying. How could she not? Beth knows everything. (Almost everything). When Beth says her name, it's like a warning and dare, like it's Addy's last chance to come clean. She grips Beth's wrist and moves her hand away from her face. "I'm serious. I burned myself with my straightener." 

Beth doesn't look convinced because that would be way too easy, and she's always been able to read Addy. "Looks like a hickey to me." 

"Well, it's not." Her phone buzzes so she checks it. Doesn't get a chance to see the message, but she sees Coach French's contact and that's enough. She glances back up at Beth, "I have to go." And, she goes before Beth can try and stop her. 

Addy finds Coach in her office, near the window, smoking a cigarette. She doesn't look at her when she walks through the door but she shoots a brief glance her way when she closes and locks the door. Addy's heart is racing as she walks over to her, sandwiching herself between Coach and the wall. Coach's cigarette is resting lazily between her index and middle fingers. Not sure of what takes over her, Addy takes it from her and puts it between her lips. 

Coach snatches it and tosses it out the window before she even got the chance to inhale at all. "You're too pretty for that." 

Addy looks down at her feet, doesn't flinch at the hardness of her tone. Not outwardly, anyway. She doesn't have to be looking at her to know she's staring at her. She can feel it. Not like Saturday, her gaze burns. In the absolute worse way. Sometimes, Coach makes her feel smaller than this piss poor town they live in. Now is sometimes. 

"She's beneath you, you know that, right?" She looks up at Coach. "Beth," she confirms, like Addy needed it, like she was confused. "She's gonna drag you to the gutter. I can see it."

Beth has her flaws, but she has her charms. And, she's Addy's oldest friend. She's a sight for sore eyes, if you don't know her. Coach doesn't know her. 

"She's not that bad." Coach frowns at that. Back to her feet Addy's eyes go. 

She picks chin up, "I just want what's best for my girl," Addy blushes and she smiles, ever so briefly before her expression darkens in a way that almost scares Addy, "And, that's not Beth Cassidy." She tucks some of Addy's hair behind her down, "Don't let her ruin you." She kisses Addy's forehead as if to seal the deal. 

It works.

* * *

Avoiding Beth is a near impossible task, but she manages. For the rest of the day at that. She feels guilty about it, to an extent, about turning away and walking away at the speed of light every time she sees Beth coming. She feels guilty about pretending Beth isn't around in classes they shared, even though she sits right behind her. It's a killer because she knows she's hurt; Beth's been blowing up her phone so much that she's had to turn it off. She feels bad but swallows the guilt of it all. 

She can't get Coach out of her mind, her words; they replay like a looped YouTube video. Impossible to ignore. She's conflicted at the validity of it because, okay, yes, in hindsight Beth hasn't been that good to her, for her. But, they have moments, moments where Addy thinks she's truly let her hair down and she's tender and sweet. She likes to think the good outweighs the bad with Beth, not just in their personal relationship but overall. But, she also thinks, if she wrote it all on paper, then maybe Coach would be right. 

(I mean, Beth pulled a gun on her. And, that was an extreme moment, but the behavior — the possessiveness — wasn't out of left field, happened all the time, if Addy even spoke to someone she didn't know or like.) 

But, Beth is her oldest friend and regardless of how exhausting she can be as an individual, regardless of how noxious their dynamic is, she still thinks of her as her best friend. Whether it's because she doesn't know how things should be or it just is, that's just the way things are. And, on a logical level, she knows there's something to be said about someone who asks you to cut off your closest friend, but she also doesn't want to upset Coach again, either. 

Beth and hers friendship has always been a little more than a friendship, even before they kissed and Coach is a perceptive person; Addy's sure she's picked on it. She understands why Coach would worried. That's what leads her to actually avoiding Beth, doing what Coach says. 

She's not Beth's girl anymore, stopped (officially) being that the moment she Coach slip her hand under her towel, and she doesn't want to be her girl anymore; she's been drifting away from that title, or trying to, since before she's latched onto Coach. She is Coach's girl, now, and she wants her to know that, wants her to feel secure in that. 

There's no practice today, which is perfect. There'd be no way Beth wouldn't corner her at practice. Besides, it just means she can put in more hours, which she needs because she's been slacking lately. Since there's no practice, she decides it's best for her to walk, get some kind of work out today. She makes it about three blocks from school, when she notices a pickup cruising next to her. She puts some pep in her stride, decides to pretend it isn't there. 

"Hanlon!" It's Sarge Will, which is as relaxing as it is terrifying. She stops walking and he stops driving, "You need a ride?" She hesitates, wishes she'd sent an emergency text for a ride. Sarge Will reaches over and opens the door, "Come on, I'll take you wherever you're going." 

She gets in the truck. She doesn't really want to, but they've always been nice to each other. It'll look weird if she says no. Plus, the door's already open. The truck is rank as hell. Smells like cheap booze and bad body odor, and Addy just can't help but wonder if it's just Will, in this present moment or if it's a smell that's built up over time. His hair is unkempt, unbelievably greasy. Doesn't look as healthy or as shiny as it usually does. His skin looks pale yet it's clear he probably hasn't washed his face in some days. He's got an open bottle of Jack Daniels in his lap. He looks like the human personification of depression to Addy, and she wonders if Coach has anything to do with it. He catches her looking at her; she looks away, rolls down the window. He turns the music off in the truck. 

"You're close to Colette, right," He says or asks. Addy can't really tell from his tone, but she can see from the side of her eye that he's still looking at her. Like he's waiting, "Still close, anyway." He mumbles, looking back at the road but only for a second as he's making a turn. Then, back on her his eyes go, "Where am I taking you?" 

"Um, I'm going to work," her throat is dry and it's evident. She clears her throat. 

He nods, "Ice cream shop, right?" She nods, doesn't trust her voice not to crack. He nods again, "Does she talk about me? Still?" That made her look back at him. Coach never talks about him. She only did before if Addy asked, but he never comes up anymore. He seems fragile; she doesn't want to tell him that. He doesn't give her the chance to answer. Thank God. So, she looks away, straight ahead, focuses on the road ahead. "She says we're done, but it doesn't make sense, you know?" He's tapping his bottle with the hand that isn't on the wheel, like he's trying to refrain from drinking. He doesn't seem like himself, but she doesn't think he'd be that reckless with her in the car with him. He's too caring. "We were," his voice shakes and quivers. He sniffs. Addy's eyes are darting around the truck. She should've never gotten into his truck. "I loved, I love," he continues and her heart's in her throat. He clears his throat. "It just doesn't make sense, how," he trips on his words, "how a person can go from touching you, kissing you, looking at you like you're the reason the stars shine to treating you like you're worth less than the scum on the bottom of their shoe." When she finally does look at him, his eyes are bloodshot. "Does that make sense to you?" And, his eyes are straight ahead as he pulls into the parking lot of her job. 

She shakes her head as he parks and whispers, "No." He blinks and cries a little but quickly wipes away. And, finally, he drinks. Downs more than what Addy thinks he should be drinking. She can't help but feel responsible. She touches his shoulder and he looks at her, smiles the gentlest, saddest smile. She doesn't have it in her to smile back, "I'm sorry." 

He shakes his head, "No, no." He sniffs, wipes his nose with the heel of his hand, "I'm sorry. I shouldn't be crying to you about it. You got nothing to do with it." Addy cringes because she might. She awkwardly pats his back before she climbs out of the truck. She's closed the door and is walking away when, "Addy!" She turns around and waves her back so she walks back to the window, but doesn't get close, "You're never as special as she makes you feel, not even half." He gives her another one of those smiles, "Take it from me." Then he drives off. 

And she's frozen. 


End file.
